01 September 2008

What's going on?

Sometimes I wake up with the feeling that I will be doing the same routine - Groundhog Day - style for the rest of my life. The dread that instills is quite strong, I wonder how I get out of bed sometimes.

Part of it is stress I guess, brought on societal norms, job issues, family issues, etc. I can't really point the finger at what the rest is. Depression perhaps?

When did it all change? I remember waking up when I was younger hoping I'd live forever with the world at my fingers and a world of possibilities to explore. Now I get up, shower, leave the house, listen to the radio and fight back the tears.

Is there a definite moment in time where that last door closed behind me I wonder, never to be reopened.

Maybe I just need a complete 180 to my life, and pursue something else somewhere else.

When you open up those types of possibilities, it becomes even more depressing realising that if you could do ANYTHING, you don't know what you'd do. Be a rock star? A movie star? run a pub?

Maybe it is better the devil you know, put up with the misery of life and wait to die.

Oh cheery days.
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